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Cigar Comedy

Cigar Comebacks comedy penguin

Remark: "You know, that second hand smoke could kill me!"
Response: "Yeah, but not fast enough!" (It really helps if you blow some smoke at the assailant!)

Remark: "That cigar is just an extension of your manhood."
Response: "That's why I cut off the end and set it on fire."

Remark: "Why do you smoke those smelly cigars? Don't you like women more?"
Response: "Sure I like women. But no matter how long I have this cigar I know the butt will stay the same size!"
Response for women: "At least I can choose the length of a cigar!"

Remark: "Eeew! You smoke cigars?"
Response: "Yep. I'm up to 2 packs a day."

10 Reasons Why Cigars Are Better Than Women

    Smokin Penguin
  • Cigars don't get jealous when you look at other cigars.
  • A man can have more than one cigar in a night.
  • You don't have to cuddle with a cigar.
  • If the fire goes out you can always re-light a cigar.
  • If you don't like the cigar you can get another one, no questions asked!
  • Cigars don't have divorce attorneys.
  • A man doesn't mind being seen with an ugly cigar.
  • A cigar doesn't have a mother-in-law.
  • You can enjoy a cigar AND watch the game!

10 Reasons Why Cigars Are Better Than Men

  • Some women like short, fat cigars.
  • A woman will actually put a cigar in her mouth.
  • If you don't like your cigar you can throw it out.
  • It's legal to cut the head off your cigar.
  • With cigars you can suck and blow at YOUR convenience.
  • You can take a Cuban home with you and not worry about what friends and neighbors think.
  • Cigars are smarter, they're always there for you, and they know their place.
  • A cigar doesn't whine if you smoke it right away.
  • Cigars like to be taken out for long walks in the park too.
  • When a woman finishes her cigar she's ALWAYS satisfied!

The Don Martello Cigar Smoker's Journal Keep Track of the Cigars You Smoke

Keeping some sort of journal or log of your cigars is a good idea for any smoker, especially if you're new to the cigar world. I promise you, you will not remember the name of the great cigar your buddy gave you at the bar! Even if you just save the cigar band you'll do yourself a great service the next time you want to smoke that same cigar.

The BEST way to catalog your smoking preferences is to use The Don Martello Cigar Smoker's Journal.

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Andy Martello
Las Vegas Comic Juggler

[email protected]
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